


The Dating Game

by nagi_schwarz



Series: Number The Stars [20]
Category: Numb3rs, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: AU, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 18:48:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6716857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/nagi_schwarz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the comment_fic prompt: <i>Thoughtcrimes/Stargate Atlantis/any, any, maybe walking into the lab wasn't such a smart idea...</i></p><p>Sam Carter inadvertently stumbles upon the first ever Atlantis Dating Game, hosted in the lab by Dr. Ramanujan, Dr. Kusanagi, and Dr. Zelenka, and whose lucky bachelor (or unfortunate victim) is Major Evan Lorne.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dating Game

It took Sam two seconds to realize that maybe walking into the lab wasn’t a smart idea. All of the desks had been pushed together to form a stage, and the chairs had been arranged to form seating for an audience. Amita, Kusanagi, and Zelenka were seated on three chairs in front of the audience, which was comprised mostly of scientists, but a few off-duty soldiers were in the mix, as well as Teyla and Ronon.  
  
Major Lorne was sitting on the stage on a chair. A whiteboard had been erected as a divider between him and three women who were also seated on chairs on the stage.  
  
Amita spoke into a microphone. “Everyone, welcome to the first ever Atlantis Dating Game!”  
  
There were cheers. Teyla joined in, though she looked puzzled. And Ronon - Ronon looked terribly amused.  
  
“Our first bachelor is Major Evan Lorne, from San Francisco, California, on Earth. Major Lorne joined the Air Force when he was eighteen and entered the Air Force Academy, where he graduated with honors, and he later went on to attain his masters in geophysics. He originally served on SG-11 for a mining operation as a surveyor, and now he serves as second-in-command of the military contingent of the Atlantis Expedition.”  
  
By Sam’s estimation, Lorne looked like a man resigned to his fate - and a grim fate at that.  
  
Sam was still new enough to the expedition that she didn’t know everyone’s names, but she did know that all three women who were game contestants were civilians.  
  
“In his spare time,” Amita continued, in an admirable imitation of a game show host, “Major Lorne enjoys painting, cooking, and long walks on the beach.”  
  
“Tonight,” Kusanagi said, taking up the microphone, “three lovely ladies are competing for the chance to go on a date with this very eligible bachelor. Bachelorette number one, tell us something about yourself.”  
  
Sam felt as horrified as Lorne looked when woman spoke into the microphone and her voice came out sounding like a Goa’uld. A voice modulator to preserve anonymity was one thing, but really?  
  
“I enjoy fine art, and it’s always been my dream to see all the major art galleries in Europe,” Number One said. Then she passed the microphone along.  
  
“Bachelorette Number Two, tell us something about yourself,” Zelenka prompted.  
  
“In my spare time, I like skiing and snowboarding, and I love curling up in front of a roaring fire after a good day on the slopes.”  
  
Sam wasn’t sure if she should run away or find a camera and record some of this.  
  
Amita beamed. “And Bachelorette Number Three!”  
  
“I’m a fun-loving, free-spirited girl, and I’m always game to try anything once.”  
  
“Nice to meet you,” Lorne managed, and Sam thought the man deserved an award.  
  
“Now, Major Lorne will pose questions for each contestant to answer,” Kusanagi said, “and the audience will vote for who gives the best answer. After five rounds of questioning, there will be a final vote, and then Major Lorne will have his date for the next designated Sunday.”  
  
Yep, Lorne definitely deserved some kind of commendation for bravery on the field of battle.   
  
He picked up a little stack of index cards that had been resting on his knee and cleared his throat. “This question is for Bachelorette Number One. The Wraith are coming to destroy your home. You can only take one thing with you. What do you take, and why?”  
  
“My 72-hour kit,” Number One said promptly. “I grew up in tornado country, so I always made sure to have a kit packed and by the door in case of emergency.”  
  
Sam blinked. Huh. That was actually pretty smart. A pretty good, insightful question, too. Judging by Lorne’s expression, the next question was something of a doozy.  
  
“Thanks! Bachelorette Number Two: honey or whipped cream?”  
  
Kusanagi and Amita both reached out and smacked Zelenka on the shoulder.  
  
Sam did an about-face and left the lab. Whatever kept her people sane enough to do their jobs. Next time they should post a sign, though.


End file.
